Web Performance Best Practices for Handling Large Scale WordPress Sites

Introduction
Hello, my coding friends! Are you on the edge of your seat to delve into the riveting world of web development, or are you already knee-deep into programming madness? Either way, I’m thrilled to meet you, and get ready for some coding discussions that would make even a non-programmer wish they were part of this code-magic!
Let’s make a developer’s epic journey into the heart of Web Performance Best Practices on Large Scale WordPress Sites, an entertaining, informative and most importantly, an easy-to-understand experience.

Understanding The Importance Of Optimization

You have your WordPress site up and running. You’ve got a ton of content, great! Now, sit back and sip your coffee while your site runs itself, right? Not so fast! Remember when your browser-rocket was about to land on a website, but it took so long to load that you aged a few years? That’s what we’re trying to avoid here!
Our mission here, should you choose to accept it, is to prevent your WordPress site from becoming ‘The Tortoise’ in this fast-paced ‘Hare’ world of web. We aim to keep those visitors coming, browsing, and returning, without them having to experience the pain of slow-loading.

The PHP-fection Formula

Let me introduce you to our first superhero, PHP! It’s one of the main weapons in a WordPress developer’s arsenal. PHP, when used wisely, enhances the server processing time, thus improving your website’s performance.
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Update PHP Regularly

: Keeping PHP up-to-date is like feeding your pet. It’s a job you must not overlook. Regular updates ensure your pet PHP doesn’t become lethargic, keeping your website zippy!
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Clean Up PHP code

: Messy PHP code is like walking through uncharted forest without a path. Avoid unnecessary plugins and scripts, and always aim to streamline your PHP code. “Keep your environment clean” applies to coding too!

Taming The CSS Beast

Next in line is CSS. Think of CSS as that stylist who is never satisfied until your website looks drop-dead beautiful! But remember, beauty shouldn’t come at the cost of performance.
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Minify CSS

: This is like giving your CSS a good, old fashion trim. Minimizing your CSS beautifies your site while reducing load time. It’s a win-win!
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Use Inline CSS Sparingly

: Inline CSS, your website’s mascara, should be used with caution. Too much of it, and it will slow down your site. Use it sparingly and keep your CSS simple!

Concluding Thoughts

Hold your laugh, but trust me, for a developer, organized coding and optimized performance can bring unparalleled joy, something even chocolate might not be able to top!
Remember, when it comes to handling large-scale WordPress sites, think of it as a mission. Your mission to provide an efficient, beautiful experience for like-a-billion visitors without causing a hiccup. And this mission, my coding friends, is very much possible with these best practices. In the world of codes, there is no ‘Mission Impossible’. It’s all about how well you master the art of managing your code.
So, keep coding, keep optimizing, and don’t forget – every bit of performance improvement is a step towards success! Everybody can code, make sure yours stands out!